I couldn't see throught the smoke

No matter how bad my life got I just didn't see the damage the drugs were doing, it was so obvious to everyone around me, but I just couldn't see it, or maybe I just didn't want to.
I would continue to use after a big fight with my girlfriend even though the out come was going to be my living homeless, possibly jobless and definitely no money.
I was so engulfed with my addiction and how I was going to get my next high that everything else was meaningless, I have lost my children because I was too busy with my drug problem that I just didn't call them any more and I didn't care, at least at that time I didn't.
I suffer every day with the thoughts of them, wondering what their doing, how big they are now, or just what they look like. You see its been 7 yrs since I last seen them, is that unbelievable or what?. They just don't want anything to do with me, its like they have their own things to do and that they just don't care, sound familiar?.
Why did it have to take this long to realize that the outcome of my use was going take my children away from me, why couldn't I just see this, I do now if that counts for anything.
I want you to read this and know that there is a chance that you can change the outcome of the future if you want it bad enough, well do you?.
It is all of us who through this life of drugs are giving up things that are not only possession but are people we love and care about, that at one point in our lives we would give our life for without any hesitation.
Now go ahead and cry, feel sorry for yourself and don't forget that sad story about how bad life was for you growing up, OK now, did you get that out?.
Do you really think that you can quit this on your own? well do you?
I needed to get help, no matter how it was going to affect my life.
I had to go into my employer and tell them that I had drug problems, ask them for a leave of absence and then get them to understand, sound difficult, well if you read my whole blog then you would know that I went to rehab twice and I then had to face all my other co-workers again.
Please give in to whatever is keeping you from quitting, there are people out there who want and need you, young and old and they need your guidance and love.