To those of you that are new to this sight and have a loved one that is addicted to some kind of drug let me see if I can give you a better picture of what you might be up against.
For me crack cocaine totally engulfed my life, My whole day was nothing but trying to figure out how, when, and how soon I was going to be able to do my drug of choice.
I would just be so irritable when I didn't have anything and especially when I was broke.
I was a different person if I knew that I was going to be able to buy some crack, I was happy, you could talk to me and I would be a bundle of energy.
From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning to when I close them at night ( if I closed them at all if I was using ) Was all about drugs, nothing else mattered.
To be wanting drugs and to be on drugs is two totally different things. The mind works at trying to figure out how to get money, who I can borrow off of, If I can convince the dealer to front me until payday, it is constantly thinking about scoring drugs.
Now when we I used it would turn to total paranoia, any sound, shadow , phone call, knock on the door would just freak me out.
I hate doing drugs but the addiction makes you crave and forget how much you really hate being high. I only mentioned a tenth of what crap goes along with using.
We need to be in a safe place to get enough clean time to get a start, from there it is up to us to stay and use the tools the centers hopefully taught us to stay clean with.
If you were to ask me when I had 20 dollars in my pocket if I wanted to go to re hab I would have said no. I would have been on the phone to the little creep dealers to bring me some crack.
You have to know how powerful the drug is, it is not that we didn't want to quit it is getting that head start to have a chance to do it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment