Good Morning
Just a thought for the day, I try and relate my past with drugs with my life today and I come to the realization that my life wasn't my own back in my using days.
I remember never being able to plan things that would be classified as normal because my whole life circled around drugs, from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning to when I closed them at night was all about drugs.
It is so hard to live a life of using and to function normally, even at work I would be planning how to get some so I wouldn't have to fight the traffic home, you see if I got caught in traffic then that would interfer with my using.
Family functions would be almost impossible to plan because I just wasn't reliable, I would miss things that were unforgiveable like my nieces wedding, or my sister in-laws 40 th birthday, my parents functions or the loss of my children for the last 7 yrs.
I have made ammends for some of these things but the truth is that I don't forgive myself, I can't get those times back no matter how many times I am told it is ok.
Don't get me wrong, this is part of my recovery and I am not happy about my decisions back then but I have the power of my life back now to understand and be in control of my decisions.
Its my life now and I will never give it away again, Fight for your life and it will be yours to make the right decisions that will define who you are and to live the life you always knew you were born to live, a clean life free of drugs from there anything is possible.
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