ITS NOT YOUR FRIEND

What do think is the hardest part for you to stop doing drugs is? I didn't want to stop the drugs I just wanted the chaos to stop. I remember thinking before I went into rehab that I needed to have my last hurrah and how sad I was and going to miss it.
It is like they are two different things the drugs and the chaos, that is something that we need to come to understand, they are the same. Once I got into a facility then that craving seemed to die off and it gave me a chance to reflect a bit on what had been going on in my life.
Once in the winter time I had parked my car in my driveway and it was icy, I heard a knock on the door but since I was doing crack I was so pharnoid I didn"t even move about two hours.
I finally got up when I was out of drugs and coming down and went to the front window only to see that my car had slid down the driveway and was out on a main street, someone had knocked and was trying to let me know this and eventually they slid it off the best they could.
I would also hide my pipe in the sofa and it was extremely hot and it could have caused a fire. I have a hundred stories like these, the point is we think that before we pick up that everything is going to be fine but the truth that once we get high that we are not able to function normally or make the decisions that we should be making that is normal or safe. When I hear a knock on the door now I can't wait to see who it might be because I don't really know anyone around here so who would be knocking. I occasionally leave the oven on and I get pretty mad at myself about that....You see the norm. If you can just think about the differences and play it through then you have a better chance of making it and staying clean.
It is scary quiting and losing your so called best friend or so you think it is your friend. You will so come to realize that it only takes and gives nothing back in return but destruction and pain.
Just get your foot in the door and give it a try. I think you'll see that you were born to be on the path that you are on now, the path to happiness.