ANOTHER DAY CLEAN AND LIFE CAN ONLY GET BETTER

I was asked the other day how long it has been since I saw my children and the answer is 7 plus yrs. I try to contact them to talk or to show them that I am still alive but they don't respond. I am waiting for that day when they finally show up at my door to say that they want a relationship with their dad. I haven't always made the right decisions and I definitely messed up when it came to them. What was I thinking when I continued to do drugs, did I not know that they finally grow up and they would see and hear the obvious. They are the most important people in my life and I don't even know them anymore and I can't do anything about that, or can I? I wake up wondering what they are doing, what they look like, and wanting to let them know that I love them with all my heart.
My day will come with my children again but only if I stay clean, I need to for mine and their sake because if I don't they will never want to see me again.
I am fine with the way things are right now and pray that they will one day forgive me. I will stay clean and my life will get better with the thought of one day being together with my two daughters again.
We made mistakes with our drug use in the past but we can change that and write a new page of happiness for our future. You have to want it and I do, do you?
The road that I am on now goes by their place and hopefully they will get a glance of a father that they thought was gone but I was only away for awhile and now I'm back with more love than a father can have for his children. Another day clean and life can only get better, I believe, do you?