A LIE TO COVER THE LAST LIE AND SO ON

I feel the need to write things down but I can't seem to find the words to say what it is I want to say.
I knew that I had a problem with drugs, do you? I knew I needed help, do you? I knew that I was sick and that I was hurting the people around me, and so do you!!!!
I talked to a person that I know really well who for some reason he thinks he can pull the wool over my eyes. He thinks that I will not say anything to him or call him on his bullsh--........Wrong........ I care about you so therefore I can't just pretend that what you say must be the truth because everything I see and hear tells me different. You're forgetting that I have used your lies, used the same excuses, and the outcome is the same as my life was and for almost every other addict.
Here are a few examples. You had a good job, but you quit. So did I, luckily I got it back again with some quick action once I came down off the crack.
You're not active sports anymore and don't associate with any of your friends that you couldn't be away from years ago, the healthy friends that is!
I got away from all my healthy friends too. MY best friends are active addicts.
Me first this time. I have lost my children and I can no longer get those years back again. They are older now and they don't look at me like I'm SuperMan anymore, if anything, LoserMan.
Now listen and listen good. YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR CHILD.
You can go on pretending that you are fooling the people around you, that your life is Ok. It isn't. I know you're sick. You know you're sick. Get help and change the road that you're going down.
You wouldn't bring your child down the road you're travelling would you? So get on the road that you feel would be safe for them too. It is the same road our parents brought us on.
Quiting isn't easy, but its a hell of a lot easier than trying to think of a lie to cover the last lie to cover the last lie, and so on.
Want to start now? Play it through, your day that is. Write it down, all the chaos, all the paranoia, all the sadness and thoughts of hopelessness. The only one that believes your lies is you because that is what you're use to. If you're reading this then hopefully its a start to a clean life.
Its not that far away it only seems distant. Reach out and get help, you deserve it. Life is good being clean.
Believe me as I want to believe in you....Again!!