Thankyou for your support and kind words. I am feeling a bit better today. When I woke up I thought about what I had said I was going to do.
You have no Idea what your comment meant to me. I sat here in disbelief that someone cared about how I was feeling, someone I didn't know was willing to say those kind words to help me snap out of the depression I was in. And yes I want to believe in myself.
I got up today and started to clean my place, I did the laundry, vaccumed, did the dishes and just kept busy. I got to go out and get a few other things done with regards to child support.
I want to tell you something that I think is important to the addictive part of me, I never once thought of getting crack and numbing myself, not once. I have money on me, enough to live from paycheck to paycheck but if I was to use....goodbye money..and my life.
I felt happy that someone read my blog. It was not quite an hour and you wrote to me...Thankyou, your words brought tears to my eyes. You are a good person too.
Ok enough about me and my sad life. How are you? Is this the day to get on the road to recovery? Just this moment I thought that I better get going to a meeting, these older members can really give you some helpful advise and the people that speak really have some good stories. I use to get bored at meeting. I really wasn't serious until the second time in I went to rehab where meetings are mandatory and I started to listen. There are members that are 35 years clean and sober. I think they might have some good advise, what do you think? One thing said that really hit home from a long term member was, He was no closer to relapsing than we were and that he had to remind himself everyday that his life is better living clean.
My life is better too. Thankyou for listening. I can't express the happiness I feel that someone really cares, cares enough to respond to my writing. Thankyou.
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