A KIND WORD OR A SMILE.

I was flagged over the other day by this young girl. She was an attractive girl who had her thumb out in a place where you normally wouldn't hitch a ride. I pulled over thinking that maybe she had car problems or something else was needed. She walked up to my working truck window and asked me how I was, and then told me that she was in need of some help and the help would be money. I glanced at her fingers and sure enough they told the story.
She told me that she needed money and that she would do sexual favors in exchange for money.That was a month and a half ago and I have seen her on the streets here and there and my heart hurts every time I talk to her. She is so much thinner now, her clothes are dirty, she has dirt in her hair and she told me that she is getting tired of this life now.
She told me today that she already has been in 3 rehab centre's and the look she had on her face was total hopelessness. When I first talked to her I had told her of my past and that I too was a recovering crack addict, I told her that I will never give her money and for her to never offer me sex in exchange for. I told her that I would feed her and that was it, not give her money for food but to get her some.
Today and every time I talk to her I tell her what a wonderful woman she is and that she is so pretty with such a beautiful personality and I think she responded in her own way. I told her that I can't wait to see her with months of clean time under her belt and that I have faith in her.
I don't know if she has anyone in her life to turn to or look forward to seeing if she gets clean but I am at least someone that she can trust a little, I hope.
Just to listen to her, to respond to her, to give a compliment can't hurt, it can only give someone that push to get them started on the right path to a normal life again.
I would like to believe that wouldn't you?
A kind word, a smile , just might be the start to a wonderful life for someone.

loving life

Oh god how I love my life now. It is so great to live each day without the chaos of drug addiction. I have met so many people in the last little while and they are so special to me, I never would have met them if I was still using. When I first got out of rehab I never gave it a thought of what my life would be like two plus years clean but let me tell you it is fantastic. I have a job, a house, a car (with insurance ) and my health back again. I love to wake up each morning and go about my day with the only intention of just living my life normal. I have love in my life, I have stability, I have my dignity.
I don't know how much better it can get, well I guess my daughters in my life would put the icing on the cake but that will come too.
I want you to have the same thing for yourself, it is not to much to ask is it ?
I am not anyone special. I just decided to get clean and it gets easier as the time goes on believe me.

It is getting easier with each and every day I have clean. I use to wonder how I was going to be after I had some clean time in and now I know, I am going to be just fine. At meetings you would hear of other people who would slip after a couple of years or more and that would actually scare me but not right at this moment or at this time. I am so happy to be living this time of my life clean that every problem is a challenge and not a reason to use. It is my choice and mine only if I want to go out and use again, there really isn't any other reason that I can blame it on, can you?
Get yourself to a stage where You are not only wanting to quit but want it so bad that you can taste it.

JUST KEEP ON FIGHTING

So you started on your road to recovery, everything is going fine and all of the sudden you get that urge to use and you start to convince your self that its ok to buy a little and it will only be a one time thing. When I first relapsed after my first stint in rehab I had thought the same thing but thats not the way it turned out, after 2 yrs of chaos and lies I finally confessed that I needed to get help again. The funny thing is is that nothing changed thoughout the use, it didn't get better because I was in controll of it. You are never in controll of that sh-- and it will suck every bit of self worth right out of you.
Don't let a slip become a relapse, get some help right away and tell someone that you slipped, I sure wish I did because maybe it would have saved 2 yrs of my life.
I fight for my clean time every day now and I will never give it away, to what? being broke, tired, skinny, gaunt, hungry, shamefull, lonely. Think of your reasons to stay on the road to recovery and fight, you might get knocked down but get up and keep on fighting for your life back.
This is not an easy task but living the life of an addict is constant work so stop thinking of giving up and keep going down the road you know best, the road that you were meant to be travelling where everyone you love and care about are on to share a life of happiness. The road of a drug addict leads to death, it starts off with the body and mind and eventually takes your soul.
Keep on fighting and never give up.