PLAYING IT THROUGH, ITS A FIGHT YOU CAN'T LOSE

A life after drug addiction is a hard one to picture. The future was always a day by day struggle. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and what to do with all this time I had on my hands now that I'm not planning how and when I will get my next high.
I started this blog and thought at the time that it was just what I wanted to do, I wanted so bad for my words to help someone, and I hope they did and continue to.
Okay, now lets start from here. I am now four or five years clean. I am working steady but it took a lot of hard work to get to this. I seem to want to work everyday where as before I didn't. I am functioning as a normal person in society, wow can you imagine that.
Before I go further I would like to tell you something. I believe in you and I always will. I will never let you down or give up on you. You are so special and if you want what I have you have to work hard, you have that in you don't you?
I want you to start your battle against the cravings by playing your day though in your head. If you're going to use then think about what the rest of your day will be like. Think of all the chaos, the cravings when you run out of the drug you use. Think of the money that you have and how fast you're spending it on drugs when you need it for something else. Think of how the dealer is so great while you have money, you're a somebody but when you're finally broke he treats you like a loser. Think about the next morning when you had bills to pay or a special birthday or a Christmas presents to buy for a loved one, remember how you felt when you let them down? again and again and again!!!! PLAY IT THROUGH. I would go in my work vehicle and buy drugs, I would hide in place that I have to work in and smoke crack for hours on end. I was so messed up when I did them that I must have looked like an idiot. Hate the drugs, Hate what they do to you, Hate what they make you become, Hate how they take the person you are and make you someone that you no longer like. You have these choices to make, play it through and when you get a day, two or three day play them through and compare. Give it a try and play your day through. If you are happy when using then maybe it was for you all along... ya right... if not what do you have to lose?
Some say that drugs are the devil's work, I would bet my soul he's the drug dealer too!!!!
You are a special person , you have the right to be happy. I believe in you, won't you believe in yourself too.